I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
