____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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