I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
