Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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