I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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