Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
