It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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