And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
