if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
