No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
