he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
