The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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