I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Reggie can tackle my bush.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
