Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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