You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
