I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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