if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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