Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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