My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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