New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
