I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
