Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
