I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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