i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
