Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
