Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
