i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
