Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We have started to decorate penises.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
