i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
