My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
