And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Dear god my vagina.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
