this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
