how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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