I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
