I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
