Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he fucked my hip out of place.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
