According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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