Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
