I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
