"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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