Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Randomize
