i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
