I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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