I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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