Hippo gnu deer
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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