i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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