3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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