I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
