Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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