she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
