I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
